More Ways to Waste Time on a Rainy Thursday Afternoon
"Sometimes, clandestine monks defenestrate sinful chocolate hoarders avariciously distracted by mounds of sorrowful broccoli steaming in crockpots which crack marrow from fresh squirrels found within spectral jukeboxes..."
It's from a community about creating sentences. For archival purposes, How It Works is included below:
Build sentences by adding single words. Reply to the original post or to a comment made by another person to continue the sentence. Put the word you are adding into the subject line of your comment. Put the whole sentence into the text of your comment (cut and paste). Sentences should make grammatical sense, but not necessarily thematic sense.
Multiple sentences and branching sentences are fine. Do not feel it is necessary to create only one long sentence. Spread your words out. Don't feel it is necessary to build only on the same sentence. Two words are sometimes acceptable, but don't overdo it. Some games will have special rules. Please be aware of them. If you don't care for said rules, find a different post.
Also, play iSketch. Sort of a multiplayer "Win, Lose, Or Draw" or "Pictionary" thing. (WARNING: Don't play it if you're at work, it's extremely addictive and you totally won't get anything done the rest of the day.)
Happy squeaks and pn0ysmooches to all.
1. What are your favorite ways to relax and unwind?
Taking a nice hot bath and/or drinking herbal tea, getting my feet rubbed, or snuggling with Rigelkitty.
2. What do you do the moment you get home from work/school/errands?
Take off shoes, check mail, go downstairs and talk to Rigel about the day's events, then go upstairs to change out of work clothes.
3. What are your favorite aromatherapeutic smells?
4. Do you feel more relaxed with a group of friends or hanging out by yourself?
I'm most comfortable in small groups of friends, about the size for having philosophical discussions in a diner late at night.
5. What is something that you feel is relaxing but most people don't?
I can spend hours browsing through the American Memory Collection or Google Maps.
Just glanced out the window in my office and noticed there's a huge rainbow outside across the river. Neat.
If I ever get a dog, I'm going to name it "Lycos"...
[Interior Kitchen, evening. RIGELKITTY stands at stove cooking pasta. XYDEXX enters, having just taken out trash.]
XYDEXX: I saw Brody outside.
XYDEXX: The neighbor's dog.
RIGELKITTY: That's not its name.
XYDEXX: What isn't?
XYDEXX: No, no. Brody, not Grody...
[Hilarity ensues at the possibility of a dog named "Grody".]
If weasels were tacos...1
If weasels were tacos, I'd build a great weasel launcher and load it full of squirming weasel tacos, and it'd be like Fourth of July every day and night.
Nothing to see here. I'm going to lunch.
Xydexx's Filing System
Where papers on my desk get divided into two groups:
Consists mostly of:
- Credit card statements
- Bank statements
- Automobile insurance
- IRA statements
- Oil change receipts
- Health insurance papers
Consists mostly of:
- Furry artwork and convention errata
- Modern ruins/local history information
- Inflatable animal diagrams and pn0y pr0n
- eBay-related stuff
- Unobtainium-powered weasel launchers2
- Dozens of hastily scribbled notes
Meanwhile, on FurryMUCK...
Tsuki purrs quietly, "you know, a tiger sized hairball must look like... a baby seal or something."
"Aww... a baby seal! How cute! Oh, wait a sec... that's not a... EWWWWWW!"
Fun with the Library of Congress
"Blows a gale of wind and I feel like a sick monkey." —Milton Fish, Esq., Captain's Log, April 23, 1858.
Vote for me! ME!!
I was going to take Route 7 inbound this morning, to compare travel time, but while listening to the radio I heard the morning show talking abour voting stuff. Ah! Election Day! Since the polls would be closed by the time I got home, I made a quick U-turn and headed off to Cool Springs Elementary School to vote.
On my way into the building, an old gentleman standing outside distributing voters' guides asked me to please vote against the sales tax increase.
"Tacos!" I blurted at him, doing my best Gir impression. He looked confused, and I continued mumbling "taco taco taco" until I got inside.
The voting booths were in the school's gymnasium. I was relieved to see there were no elementary school hoodlums lurking around the polls threatening to hurl dodge balls at people who voted wrong, because I never was any good at dodge ball.
I gave my name to the nice election worker ladies and launched into a lengthy diatribe about how we could get a lot more people to watch political debates if the candidates wore giant taco hats, filled with beef and lettuce and tomato and cheese that would spill out at random intervals when they talked, because tacos are kinda messy that way. This would get people interested in participating in the election process and we'd have greater voter turnout, don't you think? Huh? Huh? They told me they didn't want any trouble, and said I was at the wrong polling place.
The old gentleman distributing the voters' guides outside the school thanked me for voting as I walked back to my car, even though I didn't vote there. Ha! Shows how much he knows.
So I drove off to Evergreen Mills Elementary School, on nearby Evergreen Mills Road, which was named for a mill on Goose Creek that they tore down in the 1950s. It's true. I've seen pictures of it. And they didn't have Photoshop back then, so don't even try to convince me otherwise.
The voting booths in Evergreen Mills Elementary School were also in a large auditorium devoid of youngsters menacingly wielding dodge balls. I had noticed a few adults playing with giant sheets of colored construction paper on the way in, however. I quickly theorized that they were intending to slather me with library paste and mummify me in colored construction paper if I voted wrong. Why else would adults be playing with huge sheets of construction paper? Honestly, they couldn't have been any more obvious.
I gave my name to the nice election worker ladies here, and once again launched into my tirade about making political debates more entertaining through Taco Power, and they agreed enthusiastically! I took my little ballot into the voting booth, and voted for the candidates I thought would look most fashionable while wearing an oversized taco hat with its contents spilling out all over the stage and podium while having a serious political debate. Feeling patriotic, I put my ballot into the little vote tabulating machine that looked distressingly similar to a paper shredder, and left the auditorium.
The adults playing with the construction paper were still in the lobby as I was walking out, but I either voted correctly or they didn't notice me, because I am not currently a brightly-colored construction paper Thanksgiving mummy in Evergreen Mills Elementary School. I have survived another Election Day unscathed, hooray!
All of this story is 100% true, except the parts involving tacos. Remember to go out and vote today! Even if you think it's boring or won't make a difference, at least you'll be able to make up entertaining stories about doing it.
"The Web brings people together because no matter what kind of a twisted sexual mutant you happen to be, you've got millions of pals out there. Type in 'Find people that have sex with goats that are on fire' and the computer will ask, 'Specify type of goat.'" —Jason Alexander
I was just reviewing the webstats for xydexx.com (I really didn't have anything better to do) and only now noticed that in January, "armpit sex" was the 15th most popular search term bringing people to my website.