How To Deal With Trolls!

Conventional internet wisdom has long held that the best way to deal with trolls is to ignore them. Unfortunately, the problem with ignoring trolls is that they only go away after having done their damage. If they were bad, they will be back. Thus a complete lack of consequences for trolls means they get to continue spreading stupidity all over the internet.

Thankfully, there's a better way to deal with them...

A highway paver has proven to be the most effective way to deal with trolls.

Introducing the highway paver: An effective tool in troll management.

About Trolls

Trolls often have serious personal issues such as low-self esteem that lead them to try to control others. They usually lack the talent or social graces to have any friends, which is why they frequently hang around with other trolls. They like to claim that responding to them means they "win" somehow. In fact, trolls lose by default because they're trolls. They rank barely above spammers on the internet.

Some people say trolls only spend 30 to 60 seconds trolling and then they walk away and do something else. This is only partially true... they spend 30 to 60 seconds per each trolling attempt. Because they're so desperate for attention and do this sort of thing for entertainment, the average troll will spend hours—sometimes even days—in their basement typing away and checking for responses.

Hard to believe? Do you play video games for entertainment? When's the last time you spent 30 to 60 seconds playing a video game and then walked away to do something else?

This is why trolls are sad, pathetic creatures. Some of them are so addicted to trolling they're had their computer privileges taken away by their parents. Comedy gold.

Troll Management

The single most effective way to deal with trolls is by running them over with a highway paver. While it gives them the attention they crave, it most assuredly is not the sort of attention they want. Some trolls are so deperate for attention they've been known to throw themselves in front of highway pavers and nothing of value was lost. The stupidity spread by trolls needs to have consequences, otherwise they'll keep doing it. By showing trolls you won't put up with their stupidity, they'll move on to other things and maybe improve their sad little lives.

This paver was made for MAUL DIN. MAUL DIN is the sound of trolls being ground up by this paver's many rotating augers.

GanseVOORT! is another fine production of Xydexx!